Many emotions combined into one

Things are just moving too quickly in so little time. Many things had happened... Things that I like... and things that i hate to do but I must do. We'll get to that later.... One thing i don't get about human these days is why do they even bother having kids when they dont even give a damn about taking care of them or teaching them? For instance, there was one kid and his dad this afternoon in our shop. The kid wanted to go to the toilet and he told his dad. The dad didnt even gave the slightest look of concern and just asked him to keep quiet and go look for books he wants. The kid kept on telling the dad he needed to go pee, but his dad just ignored. In the end, the kid peed in his pants, on the stairs =.=" As if that wasnt the best part yet, the father shouted at the kid for peeing in his pants and not telling him. I was like wth??!! your son told u at least a dozen times before he managed to pee in his pants and you didnt even give the slightest shyt to bother about him. Next, came a family with 3 sons. Among the 3, two are twins. The sons are like age 6 and the other two would be 4-5. Apparently, their mother decided to constrict them in a stroller together with the maid. Her kids were hyperactive, and i meant REALLY active. they couldnt sit still for a second without making noise, kicking and punching each other or screaming and hitting the maid. They were super noisy as they shouted and screamed like there was no tmrw. Their parents didnt give the slightest eye contact neither did they scold their children. The father just told the maid to get something from the bag, whatever it was, to stuff the kid's mouth. The mother on the other hand, scolded the maid for not keeping them quiet. Judging from the way they dressed and the way the twins acted, i concluded the twins as spoiled brats. The twin devils threw tantrums at the maid. They hit her, kick her scold her. Me and my colleagues were staring at them. One of my colleagues said that "the mother know how to give birth to children but dono how to teach them" (in cantonese). Being rich and all doesnt mean you dont have to take responsibility over your children's actions. You still have to teach your own children manners. I mean, if you dont plan to teach or care about your own child, then why the heck bother having them? They'll just probably end up making a fool out of themselves. Besides this.. there was something else in my mind... something that made me sad for a few days. Something that i know its not going to happen but somehow forced myself to believe it will... even though i know it wont... If only you knew how I felt... If only... Sometimes i just blame myself for being stupid to fall for you... Sometimes i blame myself for being borned 10 years late... Other times... i just wondered what if i'm not 18 but 28? what if i didnt stay in kl? what if you know the amount of tears i shed each day? what if you knew the amount of pain i'm suffering from every night? would it change anything?... Sometimes i just hide myself from you because it wouldnt do any help... it will just make you more stressed out and frustrated... just let me be... i'm just so... screwed up...