Exam!!!

lol ok... yesterday i tried posting but then dono why some stupid error came out and i was too lazy to retype to repost... so i shall combine yesterday and today's blog together... SO.... i was really really slacking whole day yesterday... didnt bother touching book... don even remember where i throw my book ady, as for NCO exam, that one i totally ignore the notes, stick to what i have in my brain... which is nothing lol. Slept at 3+ yesterday coz i was thinking of what someone said... "sun kei ji yin la" (in cantonese)... really really regretted T.T woke up at 5 this morning lol... wake up so early for what i oso dono... then i jumped online ran through the NCO course notes dono what the notes talking oso... try and make sense of them, then start memorizing all the rank markings... really really hate that part lol. after that, i went to the toilet throw up again, then before i know it, 630 ady. i went and bathe, wear half uniform then it only hit me that i dono where my shoes were. i panic like no one's business lol. then found my shoe, my black shoe is suppose to be black but because so long never wear it became white. I had 15 more mins before assemble time, i ran and get the shoe polish, try and paint it black, but the thing didnt wanna come out. Finally i keep squeezing and stabbing the bottle until my shoes look presentable then fly to school for exam lol. 10 mins more before exam start... still no feeling lol. I took my friend's notes, flip through... memorised my most hated phrase " The Grand Priory In the British Realm.... (forgot ady coz got 20 words... too long lol) then i sat for the exam... and i noticed something... nothing came out about that stupid prase and the stupid questions were all common sense questions =.=" some were not even NCO questions... for example... question 8, an ambulance with the siren on racing at the speed of 90 km/h and a motorcycle travelling with the 90km/h, which one is faster?... i look at the question... dono what to say =.=" after that exam, four of us headed over to Damansara Utama school to be their examminors. Again, I regret signing up to be an examminor. Going there to be their examminor is like going there to take exams... most of them come in, dono how to answer, need us to teach and stuff like that... My friend accidentally called Serenity as sanitary lol... I felt so tired and sleepy when marking their papers... but some was really really amusing... there was this one guy, the question was what is AVPU (Alert, Voice, Pain, Unresponsive), the person put Alien Versus Predator United lol. I see ady i showed my superior, she asked who was the guy. When the guy came, she asked him to do 50 push ups as punishment for writing such a stupid answer... yes we're that strict... something like the army... Then i took my cpr exam... although my shoulder was hurting so badly, I managed to pass with flying colours lol... but the consequences... my bruise now getting worse lol... After that we headed back to our school, only to realise the stupid examminors... they arent exactly examminors, just there to boss ppl around only... were actually asking our members to do no common sense stuff and even scolded our members. Well you all know me rite... I'm not the type that will keep quiet and do nothing... so i asked whats going on then i shoot the two b!tchy "examminors" nicely and told them to back off on my members and stop putting wrong info into their brains, then told an officer... 3 more officers shoot them nicely oso lol. They ended up geting demoted to usherers lol. Then i didnt feel so good again so i threw up again... sigh... then we headed off to the mamak stall and eat there... didnt feel that good after drinking a drink so i threw up sumore... then after that i went home... throw up again... then after that i went to my room and slp coz i feel better lying down... then when i woke up, i noticed my nose area was wet, when i touched it, i was having nose bleed.... Me having nose bleed is a bad thing as i rarely have nose bleed and the last time i had nose bleed, i actually ended up having high fever and laid in hospital for 3 days... so i went to the kitchen, got an ice pack, and put in at my forehead then tilt down my head to let all the blood flow out coz u dont want the blood to go back in ur nose rite... then the bleeding stopped and i ate my dinner... Ahhhh cant wait... tmrw is like my last day working!!! and i kinda miss my colleagues already ><>.< i actually spent 4 times the normal amount i spend in a month... gotta start saving ady sigh... Btw... Anyone free next tuesday? Teman me go somewhere~~~ i'm super free next tuesday... need someone to teman me go somewhere instead of just staying home do nothing... watch movie, shopping whatever la... you guys know my number rite? lol... all are welcomed to call me and book me for that day ^^ (first come first serve basis hor so dont fight) lol

counting down...

Ahhh.... its ady 1+ in the morning and i still cant slp... exam is like erm... 6 more hours away and i havent stuffed anything into my brain yet lol... its so hard remembering all the stupid names and their stupid posts... mayb i should just write back what i wrote last year... "your answer is my answer and i know its correct =)" lol i bet i sure kena nicely if i do that lol... this morning... early morning... i got woke up by cher cher coz she quarreled with her bf and she was crying... as usual... i'll go listen to what she says... then she say they keep quarrel and this and that... then i told her "appreciate the time while u're still together, try your best to tolerate because you will never know when he wont be with you anymore :)" then she stared at me... i didnt notice that coz i was thinking of something. then she continued crying again =.=" then after that i went home and slept awhile then came online to chat with my lao gong then i went to work... didnt feel really good today coz i threw up every now and then... then i had a tummy ache and slight fever oso >.<>.<>.< any suggestions people?

Note: This was actually the post i wrote the day before yesterday then tried to post and some stupid error came out... then gmail so kind... help me save a draft lol thats why now i can repost ^^

the silver box

As you might have noticed, which i doubt... i've changed abit of my posts due to some unexplainable reasons lol... ok i've been trying to search for a silver box recently. The boxes i find in shops are silver but its slightly smaller than the size i want, i cant seem to find that silver box in that perfect size to fit that perfect present to be wrapped around in that perfect ribbon to give as a gift for that perfect you <3 night i had my favourite dutch biscuits my mum got from her client for dinner, then returned home and had shang-rilla's (dono how to spell.. don care oso lol) cheesecake for dessert, it was yummy ^^ i'm gonna go put my plan to work later when i sign out :) and owh ya... my hand still hurts like hell coz i've been writing non stop the whole day thanks to some VERY considerate ppl... love you lots baby... remember pics of your house ya ^^ muacks muacks <3 <3 <3 ai ni ^^
P.S remember to wake me up at 0930 tmrw morning k or i'll piak piak you and let u see don let u touch lol... and dont forget... you owe me one song through the phone and one song when we meet ^^ love ya <3

peaceful day

i'm happy today... at least until now la coz i get peace and quiet :) no silly biatches sms-ing me and threathening me :) work was bored as usual especially since now me and simon are like erm... enemies i guess, i don talk to him anymore... life at works is pretty boring, if it wasnt for my darling hubby whose keeping me companied, i probably would just fall and slp =D then i after work i went to the store behind my working place to look around. There were many stuff there, i bought ribbons, bedazzlers, cute erasers and some other cute stuff which i notice now that i have no use for it eheheh.... then i rushed home :) dropped my stuff off then got changed then grabbed my laptop and an apple with some grapes along to eat in the car as my dinner >.< i threw everything in the car then went straight to the hotel to meet the client. i dislike the client alot as he loves to take advantage... ok so mayb i kinda sorta "forgot" to tell u that part.... anyways, i know all his tricks so i'll be able to handle him :) Here i am now blogging and thinking of baby names for our little angels while waiting for that client. Dont have to worry k :) i promise nothing really bad will happen :)

i heart my life

today is just so awesome lol... everything is going right. i get to hear my lao gong's voice and i missed it so much lol we talked about how our little children would look like, the topic just made me smile and smile non stop for the whole day until now lol. my boss even treat me to a drink lol. that only happens like once in a lifetime thing, his stingy and stuff lol. then i dropped by at the night market after work to get some stuff to bring to my dad''s office to eat. i went to my fav stall to see if the queue (dono how to spell) was long, and it wasnt long at all lol. i got some stuff from the stall then drove to my dad's office. as i opened my dad's office room, i saw my fav layer cake on the table! my dad had got his friend to go all the way to indonesia i think to get my fav layer cake!! i smiled non stop and called my dad up then thank him. i munched on the layer cake and my food slowly. life might not always go the way u want, but worry not, god has plans for u :) he has sort everything out :) honestly, the thought of me having children with you made my day so happy :D i just heart my life so much right now <3

What is happening to me?????

I admit, there is something wrong with me... something is going very very wrong in my head... I've been hearing voices in my head for quite some time now.... I hear them very much these few days... I heard them today again when I was looking through the titles... the title "To become One" hit me real hard. I didnt actually noticed a tear rolling down my cheek until i heard the voice...
Voice: Stupid girl, little bit then cry.. you're damn useless!! What oso dono how to do! You're such a failure!! Don't you dare cry! you're such a big baby! only know how to cry... no wonder all your boyfriends dump you... you're so weak!!!
Me: I'm just so useless...
Voice: of course you are! people rather choose to marry a girl he don like oso dont want to be with you! you see la... how useless are you... dont die oso no use!
Me: he didnt choose her...
Voice: how sure are you? people pity you only la... please la... his gf waaaay prettier than you... want you for what? stupid girl... good for nothing.. people talk to you just to entertain you la dummy

After that... I stopped crying... I dont want to be weak... i cant cry... perhaps... maybe i should go talk to someone about it... but then ppl would think i'm crazy... sigh... maybe i am going crazy...

If only you knew...

How i wished so much that you know how much it hurts me deep down inside loving you... imagine you were me... knowing that the girl you love cant be with you... and will be slping with another guy every night... do you know how painful it is?... i doubt you know... there are many many things i want to tell you... but it wouldnt change anything... you're getting married with her... and i'm just left all alone here by myself... after meeting you... i'll proceed with my great escape... this time it has to work... it must not fail... or else, there wouldnt be a second chance... sure i will miss alot of things... but its the only way... i don have a choice... i have to leave this place to forget all the memories inside... i just hope you're happy... as long as you're happy... i will be happy for you... i'll be here waiting... just waiting for you...

New look

Since i'm trying to put something out of my mind, i think i'm going to change my look my hair... all that. I was thinking maybe I'll look like an emo girl, it is afterall the new trend among teenagers. Short straight hair, Black eyes, black eye liners, black outfit with some white to tag along, purple highlights and maybe even change my whole wardrobe to a whole dark set, no more happy bright colours. Just dark evil colours. Afterall, life is just dark, cold and evil.

Happily ever after?

Does happily ever after exist? No... it doesnt... at least not in this dimension. Happily ever after does not end one's story, but death does. Everyone dies in the end. What hurts u the most? pain inflicted physically? being tortured mentally? For me... its knowing that both of us know very well we like each other but we simply cant be together for the rest of our lives because of some unavoidable reasons. To me, love has always been a sad part of my life. None of my relationships had gone well. First it was Christmas, and now, its Valentines day... I stay awake each night wondering, praying and hoping for a miracle that she would somehow bless us and allow us to be together instead of wanting you to marry her. Its hard for me to pretend that you're not leaving me in a few days time and act as if I'm really happy around you when deep down inside me, I'm slowly shattering into a million pieces. The pain i'm suffering now emotionally hurts more than the pain i've suffered from the stitches. I dont want to close my eyes at night as I know when I wake up in the morning, I'm already one day nearer to Valentines day, the day where you would leave me and be with her, the day where you're no longer be mine. Whats going to hurt me more is that you'll be getting married soon... and i'm not the bride. Everyday I see couples walking in and out of my life, I envy them very much. Sometimes, when nobody is looking, I would just breakdown and cry. I'm useless because I cant change anything, I can only learn how to accept the fact that you're getting married soon and I'm never going to have the chance to be "yours".

Anger Management

ok... i'm a little late tonight... was bz with some stuff. There is this one scary part of me that not much people has experienced it. This part is a really fierce and angry part of me. People who had seen it would probably say i'm a totally different person when I'm in that state. And so, today one of my colleagues experienced it for pissing me off. It started off like this, one customer chose a new arival (na) book from the shelf. The na books are all located on the shelf at the entrance of the shop. I was on shop parol duty today so i walked around and dropped by occasionally at the cash register area to see if there were any books piled up on the table. The books piled up on the table were books that customers take out from their own stack, or books that the customer wanted but were just too lazy to carry them around while searching for more books, they claim its too "heavy". I found one na book on the table and asked the cashier of the day whether it was a rejected book or a "heavy" book. The cashier said it was a reject book. Please note that I do have some personal issues with the cashier as shes slow, old, blur, cunning, flirt not stop with customers, wont help out colleagues when we need help, anyhow accuse ppl, goes to the toilet for 20 mins dono doing what inside, has her breaktime longer than our boss has his and dont know her priorities. Since she said the book was a reject, I took the book and arranged it back to its original spot. 10 mins later, the customer asked that AUNTY where his book was. She shouted at me and said "aiya, why you go put back the book? the customer wants wan la" I stared at her and yelled back really fierce. I said "the freaking book is just few steps away, shout so loud for what? you're the one who say its rejected. normally working time, your brain oso don move so fast, how come now accuse people so fast?" (the customer was a guy... she probably didnt want to lose face infront of him) ok... i admit, maybe i was a little too harsh with my words... but seriously, shes been getting on my nerves since my first day of work. She bosses everyone around. From that minute onwards, she didnt dare to ask me to help her with anything, didnt ask me to take over her shift neither did she try to accuse me of anything. and i do admit it kinda looks bad scolding someone older than me infront of a customer... but she was pushing me to my limits. Everyone knows these few days my emotions are abit off due to personal reasons but she didnt bother taking precaution, so she kinda deserved getting flaming by me in a way. She will stop at nothing to flirt with guys, especially HAWT good looking guys. Espatriates do well in her flirting list (they rich mar...) She even asked me this question before, " Debra, what happens if I become your stepmother ar? I stared at her and said, I would rather eat worms, stay with rats and bathe in poop than have you as my stepmother. Ok, i'm straightforward la... but shes blur, she wont get it anyways. There was this other time when Simon accidentally spilled her water in her bottle because it wasnt closed properly. We didnt bother telling her to see if she would notice the greatly reduced amount of water in her bottle. She took her bottle and was about to drink it, then she said, "Wah today i drink so much water" i was like =.=" the rest of my colleagues were trying really hard not to laugh. Then she noticed the water on the floor and asked Simon where the water came from. (our shop is at the second floor, whole building got 4 floors) Simon replied her and said, "the roof leaking la" Then the aunty said, "aiyo, why like that one, must ask ppl to come and fix it." All of us couldnt hold back anymore. We laughed so hard until we cried, and still she didnt know what was going on. This already shows how blur she is.
*for those of you who are blur, we're on the second floor, the roof leaking has got nothing to do with us. Only the 4th floor got problem not second floor. Thats why we all laughed.