Happily ever after?

Does happily ever after exist? No... it doesnt... at least not in this dimension. Happily ever after does not end one's story, but death does. Everyone dies in the end. What hurts u the most? pain inflicted physically? being tortured mentally? For me... its knowing that both of us know very well we like each other but we simply cant be together for the rest of our lives because of some unavoidable reasons. To me, love has always been a sad part of my life. None of my relationships had gone well. First it was Christmas, and now, its Valentines day... I stay awake each night wondering, praying and hoping for a miracle that she would somehow bless us and allow us to be together instead of wanting you to marry her. Its hard for me to pretend that you're not leaving me in a few days time and act as if I'm really happy around you when deep down inside me, I'm slowly shattering into a million pieces. The pain i'm suffering now emotionally hurts more than the pain i've suffered from the stitches. I dont want to close my eyes at night as I know when I wake up in the morning, I'm already one day nearer to Valentines day, the day where you would leave me and be with her, the day where you're no longer be mine. Whats going to hurt me more is that you'll be getting married soon... and i'm not the bride. Everyday I see couples walking in and out of my life, I envy them very much. Sometimes, when nobody is looking, I would just breakdown and cry. I'm useless because I cant change anything, I can only learn how to accept the fact that you're getting married soon and I'm never going to have the chance to be "yours".