Social Neworking Sites blocked

All the social networking sites are blocked by my college. My 3 essential websites for a living are blocked. Facebook, Maplestory and blogs. I can only look at blogs without chat boxes in them which makes it pretty frustrating because most of the blogs i know of have chat boxes. Luckily, Elfie darling (paper) sent me an application to unblock all the urls. I sent the application to Zakry too. Elfie darling is my saviour *drools* lol. I'm currently in college. Virginie is here with me, shes reading this book called left dead or something like that by Richard monta-something something :D I have a few of his books, Broken Angels and Rosary Girls. Richard is a more of a crime solving murder thingy kinda writer. His books are good :) but yea, i havent finished reading broken angels, left it untouched since last christmas coz i was too bz with my other stuff and chasing my favourite book series- Percy Jackson and the Olympians series. I finished the whole series and would still read them all over again. I swear if percy (perseaus) was a real person, I'd fall in love with him. If you want to read the book, you can always come and ask it from me :) but i'm missing book 2, i read the book while i was working at the bookshop last year, so no point me buying the book rite? and Yes, I have the last book, Percy Jackson and the Last Olympian *heart melts* I reserved the book before it was released. Thanks to the MPH gm, i even got the book for free (dont ask why :) I will upload some of my colour themed pictures when I have better connection :)

C.O.L.O.U.R.S

Colours. This is the topic that I'm suppose to do for photography class. I have to basically think up of something thats relevant to the topic. I do have a few ideas in mind. But I dont think they are strong enough.

Idea#1: Pour a pack of M&Ms into a pretty looking bowl/ jar with the main element being something grey-ish. The grey-ish thing and the M&Ms would contrast therefore making my main element which in this case is the grey thingy stand out.

Idea#2: Align the colour pencils together with the tips facing inwards. How and what is the main element here? I dont know yet

Idea#3: Find a really beautiful garden/ park with lots of colourful flowers in them. In Malaysia, i doubt this place exist, therefore, a florist would be a better thing.

Idea#4: Snap a picture of a Kolam. In case if you people do not know what it is, Its a picture made out of colour-dyed rice. There will be many different pictures and colours of rice. I should start hunting for this as it should be my best bet. Worse comes to worse, I'll make my own kolam.

Idea#5: Resort to birds/ butterflies. They have beautiful colours. Assuming that I dont scare them away first, this would be a pretty good picture.

Idea#6: A bowl of white rice with Red chillies on top. This will be a VERY contrasting picture. Its also easy. I might consider this picture :)

As for PR, we watched the "state of play" movie today. It was ok i guess. I kinda dozed off a little. I'm suppose to write a 1 page report on that show. God Bless Starbucks :)

I noticed with my new blog layout, you cant tell one post from another if i post two posts on the same day. Therefore I plan to just put a couple of stars beneath every post. Easier that way.

Masquerade night... sigh... no transport so cant go :( I know u're wondering why i wont have transport since i can drive, reason is because i dont trust myself driving recently. I can somehow just close my eyes and dont look at the road when theres a car trying to cut in or something like that... It happens when its in a tight situation. So yea I dont trust my driving recently.

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People I hate

Here are the few types of people i dislike. The information written here are purely based on my 18 years of life experience.

1. Liars
If you're going to lie about something, at least come up with something good and logical. I may not be very smart, but I think I'm smart enough to spot dumb liars. And if you're planning to lie. Please lie all the way with ONE same story. Dont go around telling people something, and then telling another group something. Its just going to confuse you and get you busted with your lie

2. Cheaters
If you're going to cheat on someone. Be smart. Dont go inviting both of them two the same place but at different times. Why? Because things arent predictable. For example, if you're meeting A at Fridays at 3pm, then dont meet B at Fridays at 6pm. Its just pure stupidity if you do that. You deserve it if you get dumped in public or humiliated. Dont go on complaining to everyone in the world as if you're so innocent because you're not even innocent to do such a thing in the first place.

3. Rudeness
If you want something from someone. Please at least say "please" or "thank you". You're asking for something, you're the one whose suppose to be inferior not superior. You have to have manners while asking for someone to get something done. Dont demand because its just going to make me hate you even more. If you want something from me, ask nicely. No, I dont require you to say stuff like "owh you're so pretty today la, bla bla bla" all that crap, all I want is just a simple please and thank you. Thats already suffcient to make me give you the info that I have.

4. Advantage Seekers
Do not mistaken me here. I'm not talking about the people who seeks for advantage to try and be better. I'm talking about those people who uses others for their advantage. Taking advantage of people. Its ok if you ask a person to fetch you back once awhile, but doing it like almost everyday? Thats just really bad ok. Just because people are nice, it doesnt mean you have the right to use them and take advantage of them. If people had already agreed to drop you somewhere whereby transportation is easier there, accept it. You dont go asking the person to send you to your doorstep when you know VERY well that it is out of his way. Remember this, he/she is actually taking the initiative to help you, so be grateful with that. Because if she/he didnt help you, you would be reaching home like 3 hours after whatever you're doing.

5. Bitches wannabe
Yes, I'm being very straightforward here. I dont hate bitches, in fact, I do sometimes find bitches kinda cool in their own way. BUT, bitches know when to stop bitching, and they know what they can bitch about and what they cant bitch about. Bitches know their own strengths and weaknesses. If they arent pretty themselves, they wont go around calling people ugly. If you do that, you're not a bitch. You're just an asshole. Why? because you need one so shit doesnt come out from your mouth. Yes I'm being mean. But I'm just stating what i feel.

6. Irresponsible people
If you break/ accidentally altered something, try and at least show some concern in it. I know it doesnt belong to you and stuff, but hey! you caused it to be like that, at least try and show that you're concern over the matter instead of running away off to your friends and chatting your heart out. You caused the thing to be like that, YOU should fix it. If you dont know how, try and at least care about the matter.

7. Know-it-alls
You think you know everything? You know you know everything? Think again. You're not the only smart one in the class ok? I'm not saying i'm smart or stuff. But just because people choose not to voice out, it doesnt mean that they are dumb. I admit, I'm not a smart girl. I'm just an average girl. But if i were smart, I wouldnt act like you. You open your mouth at every question asked. Even when the question wasnt even meant for you. You just dont know when to shut up now do you? When you're out working, and you just dont know when to shut that mouth of yours, its just going to get you into alot of trouble.

8.Crashers
You try to act as if you're giving someone something good, but everyone knows the real meaning behind it. If you want to confront someone, at least be brave and do so? I mean, the whole thing was about you and him and sudenly at the end its like him and another girl? wtf? If you're trying to send a message out, to your friends, they will know the girl "snatched" him away from you (you broke up with him in the first place), whereas to the other girl, it just shows what a coward you are. You dont even have the guts to stand up and claim whats yours.

9. Exes
So, you guys broke up over something, and now he has a crush on me and is trying to chase me. He come and sit next to me and you give me that stare. You expect me to back off? Dream on girl. He came AFTER I sat down. If someone has to move, its him. I'm comfortable with where I'm sitting. Then again, I didnt say he was my boyfriend. He is a friend. So why cant friends sit together again? is it because his your ex so I cant sit next to him? I dont mean to offend anyone, but I dont think you're very smart if you have that sort of thinking. So, lets assume he sits with 10 girls a day, you're going to stare at 10 girls a day? Thats just going to make everyone call u the stalker ex girlfriend of his. And seriously, do you think that pushing me on the shoulder with yours and "accidentally" stepping on my foot is going to make me stay far away from him? No. I'm not going to stay away from him not because I like him or anything, its because I have the right to be around my friends.

10. Broomsticks
You wear a size 2. You're complaining about how fat that plate of pasta is. After eating, you complain that you're still hungry. Get a life, seriously. First, you're a size 2, size 2 means you're a stick. Second, You complain about how fat pasta is, you complain to that extend that its so annoying. I just want to eat my plate of pasta and move on with my plans, not hear you complain like a grandma over a silly plate of pasta. Third, you chose to count your calories. You chose to cut your plate of pasta into 6 divisions and left half the plate of pasta there. You asked me to finish it up for you, and I did. And you dare say you're hungry after eating pasta? I wont feel sympathy for you. I feel that you deserve to be hungry.

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Classes

My head these days feel so pain. No, not because I'm sick or anything. Its because of the amount of information going through these slow brain cells of mine is to great. I'm in Semester 2. And honestly speaking, I really cant cope with classes even though its just 3 subjects. I feel like I cope waaaay better when I was in Semester 1. I had 6 subjects back then but I can cope better. Although Public Relations and Sociology are two very fun subjects, I just cant seem to key anything into my brain. When the lecturer starts the class and start talking, my brain becomes dead. It just hurts like hell. I do pay attention in every single class, but I just dont get anything in my brain. The jokes and stuff, yea I do get, but it has nothing to do with the subject. Datelines for my assignments are nearing but I cant understand anything and I dont know where to begin. I've never felt so lost in school before. And honestly, my group members are well... different from the way I work. Different in a sense that they can sit there and sip on their drinks slowly until a question fires them. But yea, no doubt, they are good with ideas. They're good in a sense that they come up with something using ur idea as a base and building it up. But theres one thing I dont really like about the group. Its the timings. They dont notify you that there will be a discussion until its like 24 hours away from discussion time. This makes it hard for me to adjust my schedule sometimes. Photography assignment.... sigh.... My group members didnt exactly take my idea into consideration even though i know they've tried really hard to act as if they did. The stuff i got werent "suitable" for the shoot. The dresses, tops, accessories. Enough about that. The photoshoot proposal. I googled 75% of the stuff there and printed the thing out. The other girl in my group did 20% whereas the guy did like 5%.... Like hellow? you're like the eldest in the group and you gimme this kinda thing and ask me if can use??? I forgive you if your fashion sense is bad and stuff, but we already gave you a few pics of what kinda dresses we're using, the hair and stuff but yet you can gimme pics with OVER exaggerated hair, casual looks, clothes thats not even suppose to be our theme? Theres like a really clear line differentiating the casual look and the high class look. Its no wonder you're still single at your age. I will post some pics of our photo shoot yesterday and the previous days somewhere among the few posts today.

P/S: I'm having a major migraine now :(
P/P/S: I've quitted the dance group

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I'm angry because I hate myself

You're probably going to notice many blog posts today, but rest assured, blogger is not faulty, i just decide to post many times today :D

In case if most of you dont realise, I become cranky when its night time. Reason?
I hate myself when I'm alone.
I hate myself because I still miss you so much.
I hate myself because I cant forget you
I hate myself because I'm not good enough
I hate myself because I'm ugly
I hate myself because I'm stupid
I hate myself because you dont care about me
I hate myself because I've fallen in love with you and I'm stuck like that but yet you can let go so fast
I hate myself because I cant be right next to you
I hate myself because I cant help you in your work.
I hate myself because I dont even remember when was the last time I didnt cry my self to sleep
I hate myself because every morning when I wake up, my eyes are swollen

Basically, I just hate myself alot.

You dont notice how painful it is inside.
You dont notice all the promises you made are broken.
You dont notice that you've broken my fragile heart.
You dont notice I cry myself to sleep every night.
You dont notice how I'd wish you wont go offline so fast.
You dont notice how happy I feel inside when I see you online.
You dont notice how much I miss you voice.
You dont notice how much I miss it when you call me baby/ laopo/ dear
You dont notice how much I miss you when I see the little monkey
You dont notice how much I want to hear your voice when I'm not feeling well.
You dont notice that I've tried to hate you, but I really cant.

And yet I still love you with all the bits and pieces of my broken heart.

I know you wont come back to me.
I know that we wont be like the old times.
I know that you've moved on.
I know that blogging here wont change our current relationship.
I know you just want to focus on your work now.
I know you're trying to avoid me during certain times.

Even if it hurts me alot, I still cant help but love you.

me blogging this here is not because I want you to take me back in, I just need a place to express my feelings. I cant seem to trust anyone enough to tell them my problems or how I feel inside. I cant tell my problems to some people because they wouldnt understand or they would just say I'm faking it. I cant tell my problems to others because it just isnt appropriate. Therefore, I can only express my feelings here in my blog. I feel that the only place that I feel safe, where nobody can come and disturb/hurt me is when I'm at home, in my room, without the lights on, under my blanket. Nobody can invade my thoughts there. Nobody will know that I'm crying under the blanket.

I just miss you very very badly. I dont want to move on because I'm afraid that I'll forget the way we kissed, the way we hugged each other, the way you wiped my tears away when I was crying, the way you sound like and even the way you look. I just dont want to forget any of that.

P/S: Having you by my side are the happiest days of my life.

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Streamyx should just name themselves SNAILmyx

For those of you clueless people our there, streamyx is actually one of the broadbands in malaysia. It runs slower than the speed of a snail crawling. Dont believe? try using it for one day, u would strangle yourself. This morning when i reached college, I sat in the student room and i noticed something. The flat screen computers that was placed there last thursday is no longer there O.o I kinda figured out it was for display purposes because there was some guy visiting that day and the internet cable wasnt even attached to the com. So much for fulfilling students needs =.= Moving on... Sociology class was FUNNY!!! Go to Hell and u shall meet LUCIFER then there was Cinderella DRAG :D those of u who dont get what i mean, its ok, its an inside joke :) Me and Charleen discussed abit about our photography assignment, we decided to go seek professional model's help. Shes trying to get Fara from Dreamgirls as I'm asking my friend's sister who was Miss tourism Selangor to be our model. We'll try and see who gets better shots. Tmrw is going to be a tired and long day as I'll be in college from 8~6. meetings, discussions, classes. Sad rite? i know. I finally figured out whats with the Zack being stalked story today. Crystal told me the whole thing. I find it funny coz Zack is considered kinda cute, but his ex gf aka his stalker, is so erm... stuck up-ish? maybe shes not that kinda person but she gives me that kinda impression. Later on i went to my mum's office, got some rough designs of the cute little maple wedding invitations i'm gonna send out, managed to unlock that poetry side of me too. So yea, everything is still in progress eheheh... i'll try to get the photoshop installed asap :p wanna make the invitations look pretty :D
P.S. I cant stop spending in pet society :( shopping is SO addictive. I broke my record. I started off with 23k and now i'm left with 2k coins T.T

360 degree makeover

I decided to give my blog a 360 degree makeover because the prev layout looks well... dull. There was this blogskin i liked alot, its blue and it had this cartoon-ish model on the run way by the left hand side.... sadly, i couldnt use that as my blogskin. so yea, instead i went with this :) i woke up and started editing it. It took me around 3 hours to get it done. What to do? first timer mar :p After that i mapled awhile then went for papu to see if i could get my AR30... and no luck =.= later i'll be going for another round, see if i get it or not. doubt i will anyways. I finally had the mood to finish off -project incomplete- for those of you who dont know what it is, its a bannedstory thing i'm working on. i'll continue to try uploading the pics... doubt it'll work coz yea blogger and facebook hates me =.= i'll try anyways

Us celebrating Charleen jie's birthday at Secret Recipe (this is taken by my DSLR) Spot ME!!! :D

Yours truly beloved :)
This is the cute Charleen jie
This is the pretty Vir like i mentioned in the prev post

Blogger decided to go ez on me at let me post pics :) Enjoy!

i <3 sem 2

Ok, i take back the stuff i said in my last blog post. This class is awesome. Great classmates, great lecturers, great subjects. My current fav subject is photography <3 we have an upcoming studio portriat :D yes i know cool rite eheheh... so yea, we have to come up with our own theme, make up style, hairstyle, clothes and all that :D i know SUPER cool lol. Charleen jie came up with this idea, get a model to go nude, make her look sad, then we put fake bruises on her. so it kinda gives the impression of what aneroxic can do, thats our plan. BUT on second thought.... sure get banned. we're talking nude here =.=" so yea, i had this other idea of masquerade princess, thats to minimise our make up time :) so yea these are a few ideas. Then, facebook refuses to let me upload all my pics, its giving me a huge prob so yea, i'll post some here :) Charleen and vir had both been really nice and supporting to me <3 them both.


ok i'll upload vir and charleen's pics in my next post when blogger and facebook dont hate me so much :(

Me and Ricc finally broke up. Yea i know, wasted. but theres really nothing much I can do rite? If his heart isnt with me already, keeping him by my side wont do any of us good. Yes it hurts, but it'll heal someday. at least i hope it will O.o
As some ppl know, me and Chris (blazerush) are a couple in maple <3 his sweet and nice, caring yet blur lol but yea, his cute :) most important, he treats me nice. So thats basically it for this post :)